Large Fry, Pie, Large Coffee

strip indian


random pic





Ernest Angleys Miracle Crusade

When I heard the Miracle Crusade was coming to Indy I had to check it out. According to Ernest Angleys website the lame will walk, the deaf will hear, and the blind will see sounds great. I will give him some credit the dumb did talk.

I arrived at the convention center early to scout out the area a lady was outside the room with flyers, I talked to her but she wouldn't give me a flyer what's up with that? Here is what I wore, with bible in hand to complete the disguise.


The ushers were eyeballing me hard at first I picked a isle seat right in front of a large man speaking in tongues on his cell phone. A woman approached me and asked if I wanted to move closer for TV reasons, of course I did I want to see miracles. She sat me front row dead center SCORE! I wonder if that woman still has a job today.

I sat in between two very old nice people that took the heat off me a bit and the ushers were not watching me so hard anymore, I had blended in like a chameleon I was one of them.

I don't know when the Indy crusade show will air but if you catch it you will see me. There is no way they can cut me out of every audience shot I had the camera in my face all night. If you see me acting a fool on the show just remember they cut out the part where I give the punk his dues.

A Half hour before the show started a guy came on stage and asked everybody with hearing problems in one or both ears or who has lost their sense of smell to meet him in the back. My original plan was to get on stage but I knew there was no way I could talk to the guy with a straight face. I was having a hard time just keeping my cool with the cameras on me and all those scary people around me babbling in baby talk feeling the anointing.

Ernest finally came on stage to a standing ovation and introduced the "Cathedral Trio" to sing a few songs. I wont go into the horrors of the Trio just remember if you see me raising the roof with them on TV I did what I had to do to blend in. Ernest spent the next 2 hours pumping us for money nothing new you know the drill "give god his cake first" was the mantra for the night. Here is what I donated in the provided envelope.



Finally it was time for the miracles YEAH! I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and watch all the miracles before giving him my opinion on the matter, after all maybe Jesus really will show up. Ernest started by pointing out all the angels he saw in the audience. He said there was one special angel he had never seen before I like to think he was talking about me.

A long parade of deaf people came on stage to be healed. Ernest put his fingers in their ears and wiggled them, no he did not wash his hands between ears. Then he would whisper things to them like "baby" and they would repeat it. I had talked to one of the afflicted earlier in the day and he heard me just fine, how strange.

He also healed people who had lost their sense of smell by sticking a rag in their face and asking if they smelled anything. These are not the miracles I came to see, finally Ernest left the stage and headed towards wheelchair row business is about to pick up time for some real miracles.

Two wheelchair bound kids in particularly just a few seats down really got to me. Ernest had pointed to them earlier in the show and told them that they could walk out that day. One of them tried to walk after Ernest had healed him to test out his new legs, you just cant describe something like that unless you see it in person. Both of them left early still in their chairs, I cant imagine why they didn't feel like staying for the rest of the show and witnessing all the other miracles. That put me over the edge and gave me all the courage I needed, the bastard was getting served.

Ernest went down the rows healing everything from cancer to drug addiction. I had given him the benefit of the doubt but did not see any miracles. The night was winding down it was time to give Ernest his "word of knowledge". The audience was standing I moved close to the stage there were only a few people around me and Ernest had to come by this way. He gave his final healing and started heading my way.

I waited until he was so close I could have grabbed him. Ernest looked right at me and raised his hand to wave that's when I dropped the BOOOOOO on him hardcore. I told him he should be ashamed of himself, he started speed walking to the back. I dropped it on him again and tried to turn the remaining crowd against him but it didn't work.

One of the camera guys told me I should be careful not to blaspheme the holy spirit or something. I was quickly surrounded by ushers and had a brief conversation with them on the way out.

I know I cant put the shame on people like that but I still feel like I did a fantastic thing. I made that dick feel a little less welcome in Indy that's about all I can do.

What you don't believe me? That's OK because I recorded the whole thing BOOYAH!!! I had a mp3 player clipped to my belt recording the whole time the quality isn't great but its better than I expected.