The Blockbuster Conspiracy

I have received 2 fake coupons from Blockbuster. They think once they get me in the store and the coupons don't work I will pay the money for the movies anyway. They think they can pull a boner on me? They are wrong I'm not going to take this turd and polish it. The offending coupons and email evidence is below.

Grand Master K to Blockbuster

So far I have received 3 broken DVD's that were unplayable. This makes it hard to get my moneys worth out of the online service and leaves me disappointed.

I had to watch the presidential address tonight instead of enjoying Man of the House, that was not cool. I know you cant control what happens at the post office but I have a suggestion for you to rectify the situation and salvage your houses honor.

For every damaged DVD reported you should instantly provide a coupon for a free in store rental. This way I can recover the lost value and not have to wait another 3 days for a new motion picture.

I await your response urgently

Qapla'

Blockbuster to Grand Master K

Dear Kyle,

Thank you for contacting BLOCKBUSTER Online Customer Service.

Hi Kyle. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. Please accept these e-coupons to make up for the delay.

Validity is until Jan.5, 2006. Thank you very much.

Your Friends at BLOCKBUSTER Online

Grand Master K to Blockbuster

I gave you a chance to salvage your honor and I get slapped in the face this is intolerable. I went to the Blockbuster located at 11135 Pendleton Pike Rd, Suite 1200 Lawrence, IN 46235 (317) 823-7301 and tried to use the coupons you sent me. I was informed that the coupons were fake and was treated like a Ferengi. I don’t appreciate being sent bogus coupons and I find the stores refusal to make any effort to rectify the situation a grievous insult.

I wasted half an hour browsing your movies and settled on "The Gingerbread Man" and "Eight Crazy Nights". You can imagine my disappointment when I got to the counter and was accused of counterfeiting. Tonight I will be cursing your house as I have paid for your services but despite that fact will spend the evening watching Deal or No Deal.

You will lose my business to one of your many online competitors if I don’t receive a satisfactory response immediately. I demand to be compensated for the aggravation caused by your incompetence.

In order to fully recoup your honor I demand the following settlement. No negotiations this time.

1. 15 WORKING Free Rental Coupons not to expire for 12 months
2. A personal apology over the phone from blockbuster Online, email will not suffice
3. A personal apology from the store listed above. I will drive to the store to receive it emails and phone calls will not suffice
4. You will no longer refer to yourselves as "Your Friends at BLOCKBUSTER Online" in future correspondence with me

Blockbuster to Grand Master K

Dear Kyle,

Thank you for contacting BLOCKBUSTER Online Customer Service.

Thank you for taking the time to notify us and we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. BLOCKBUSTER In-store and BLOCKBUSTER online memberships are separate. Blockbuster store has its own customer service center and you are contacting customer service of BLOCKBUSTER online.

Please accept these two replacement e-coupons for free in-store movie rental at your local BLOCKBUSTER store. Click on the link below to print your coupon.

( Coupons Omitted )

We have noted that you want a personal apology but BLOCKBUSTER has many franchise stores throughout the United States. These stores have optional participation in the acceptance of these coupons. You may contact your local store for their specific terms and conditions regarding e-coupon acceptance. Thank you for your understanding, and we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Grand Master K to Blockbuster

You have only complied with one of the terms of surrender and thus will not retain me as a customer. I also requested a personal apology from Blockbuster online what up with that? Its a simple request my patronage isn't worth that much? Did you even call the store to clear my good name?

You are only separate houses when its convenient for your empire. I don't want to hear anything about separate houses as long as the stores are pushing your service on everyone that walks in the door. Are the stores informing people that the coupons are worth a plate of dead qagh when they push the service?

These insults will not stand as soon as I finish watching Kicking and Screaming I will banish your services from my house.

I take a blood oath that from now until the day I join my brothers in Stovokor I will never darken the doorway of the house of blockbuster again.